Feeling Sorry For Yourself? Read This!

Every once in awhile, I have a reality check that brings me to my knees.  I mean, as a housewife with a part-time job as a caterer, marketing consultant, etc., my life is pretty good - but, like any other human being, I get down and feel like I should be accomplishing more and that can lead to a bout of depressiont that leaves me feeling sorry for myself for NO GOOD REASON.

I've got nothing to be sad about.
Over the last month, a childhood friend of mine lost his beautiful mother to Luekemia...then, lost his 6-year-old son to a brain tumor.  In the same week!

I went to Walmart to pick up Premarin for my Surgical Menopause which makes me a bit nutty and sad and I came home to (finally) open an email about my sister's friend who has an inoperable brain tumor stemming from Stage IV Breast Cancer.

Over the last 11 months, I've gone through physical, mental and emotional changes that have me reconsidering a lot of relationships and situations within my own life. However, the last few days have me looking in the mirror and wondering what the hell is going on and why things have to happen to people who are so much better, kinder, more forgiving than me.

As I ponder this, I hope you'll read the following link and give what you can to help Holly Kiesler.

http://www.caringbridge.com/visit/hollykiesling

It's important to support our sisters and to give thanks to whomever or whatever entity you regularly "give it up to" for having this moment and for having what you have. I'm saying "you" meaning "me"  while I talk to myself in the mirror, remembering to view my whole person without judgment.

I have a lot for which to be thankful. How 'bout you?

First and foremost...

I'm creative.

Beyond my personal and professional accomplishments, education, and those other things about me that are, at times, painfully obvious - I am driven by a desire to create.

Primarily, I love to compose music and jingles.

As a young person, it was impossible to focus solely on my creativity for need of making rent, putting food on the table and gas in the car. Nothing unusual for someone fresh out of college and trying to make her mark. Those were some trying yet wonderful times.

However, what matters is NOW and things have definitely changed - as have I - and for the best. 

It goes without saying that the one piece of myself that has remained unchanged and completely intact is my burning desire to create regardless of what anyone else thinks about what I consider my ART. I am a creative soul.

Recently, I got inspired by a brief musical piece by New Zealand composer, Mike Newport when I was searching for background music for a client's web ad. After one year of listening to this piece over and over, I came up with some lyrics and vocal layering and made myself a little song.

I am me...authentically. I am creative and I am sharing this with you because, well, I can.

"Please Let Me Stay" - music by Mike Newport, lyrics and vocals by Ashley Brown

My Children, Too...sort of

Prior to getting married, my husband and I had lengthy discussions about whether or not we truly wanted to have/adopt/foster children. Both of us are the first born of three, he with two brothers and me with a bro and a sis. Life as the first born is both delightful and frustrating for various reasons, but suffice it to say, we ultimately decided we were not going to have children.

Not that I owe anyone other myself and my hubby an explanation, but for the mere fact that I appreciate full disclosure - we both like children. However, the decision has more to do with the fact that we are avid world travelers, entrepreneurs (a.k.a. gamblers) and will soon both pursue our graduate and doctoral work in counseling. Yeah..we're kinda selfish of our time together, and we're both a bit over 30.

Fortunately for me, I am uber close to my siblings, each of whom have adorable children. Subsequently, and because I am an AMAZING AUNT, my brother and sister have allowed me to have a close relationship with my nephews and nieces. To be honest, as much as I like to portray myself as professional...nothing reduces me to a giggling pile of girly than hearing:

"Aunt Ash is a gooberhead!"  

Blurted out in melodious burst of laughter from the back seat of my car lets me know that my love of Andy Gibb is not only NOT shared by 14, 13 and 11-year-olds...and that I am NOT COOL. I will always prefer The Bee Gees to Bieber and I will always, always crave these moments!

So it's no surprise that, last weekend, when I received a call from my sister asking if my youngest niece could come for a visit...I was thrilled. My niece is now 11, but I nicknamed her "Pookie" when she was still making my tiny little sister look like an olive on a toothpick!

A visit from Pookie includes several activities including crafts, cooking, swimming, shopping, eating and chatting (lots of eating and chatting!) and walking our Beagle, Puddin' Pie. I am always exhausted, but exhiliarated after a Pookie visit. This visit was no different. Pookie was on a mission...to make a very special cake for her mommy's milestone Birthday.

Pookie and I went from store to store to find the perfect decorations, food coloring and flavor. We talked about the flavor and that the cake should be gluten free. I listened to her chatter about how she wanted to make the actual cake purple and the icing should be lavender and how pretty the sugar sheets would look on the side. Having those moments with her, planning and creating her mommy's cake, were absolutely priceless and I can never savor those moments enough. Luckily, I know there will be other moments, even though  I can see her becoming a teenager before my eyes.

No matter how old she gets, I hope to still be the Aunt Ash she misses and wants to spend time with.

Although I am in that moment, I can't help remember another little girl who spent a lot of time with me when I lived in Nashville during the 1990's. That little girl, my very first niece, whom I took on rollercoaster rides at Opryland in the Summers when she was only six or seven is now 23...a grown woman. I relished those moments with her as a little girl and appreciate the relationship I still have with the strong young woman she has become. Yes, Britty-Boo, I mean you!

Interestingly, after posting this blog, I found a picture of Britty-Boo and me from back in either 1992 or 1993 and I am going to scan and post it if I can ever stop bawling every time I pull it out of the drawer!

It often occurs to me that I am fortunate to be able to spend the one-on-one time with each of my nieces...and nephews. Although, the boys are now teens and have infinitely more interests than being around me!

I have 'Uncle Mark' to thank for allowing me a lifestyle that gives me flexibility to have time with these precious little people. 

Even though Mark and I don't have our own, we feel blessed that we are able to experience the love of these children and the moments we get to share in their wonderful life adventures. I may not be cool, but I am loved.

I have my sister and brother to thank for including us in that...and I am grateful.

May you be lucky enough to share in a little person's life. It's truly a blessing.

Chickpeas have UBER fiber!

If you are looking for a way to bring optimum fiber into your diet, Chickpeas are an amazing and easy way to do this. They taste great, and they can be made into the best hummus you've ever tasted. I know this for a fact, so here is a great, quick hummus recipe and all you need are the ingredients and a food processor:

1 can Chickpeas (drained)
1/2 tspn dry Mustard
1/4 cup GOOD Olive Oil (it may take a little more, be prepared)
1 Clove Garlic (crushed)
Fresh Basil
Dash of Sea Salt

Pour drained chickpeas into food processor , put the lid on and give three or four pulses to rough chop. I like to turn my food processor off when I add mustard, garlic, a few pieces of fresh basil (maybe three) - but, you do not have to if you are a Processing Pro!

Add your olive oil, let it run for just a couple of seconds then check the consistency. Continue to add oil until creamy, then stir in your dash of salt.

QUICK TIP

If you choose to make your own hummus for a party, whether it's in your home or in another home and you are the invited guest...substitute chickpeas for Canellini beans.

Consuming chickpeas is great, but since they are so fibrous, they can also cause a bit of public discomfort. Either take Beano prior to consuming or do the substitution...if you get my drift.

Happy, Healthy Eating from A Brown Bag Gourmet!

Authentically!

2012 - Year Of The Family (originally written on January 1st)

It's January first, New Year's day, and my husband and beagle are participating in a snoring contest as I obsessively review and revise my eBay store. We've only been up since seven this morning, but nap time is an important part of how my little family thrives.

Calm and quiet is essential in our home, but quiet doesn't mean silence.

Puddin' Pie sometimes snores so loudly that I can't believe she's just a 30 lb. dog.  But, you know, as I sit here in my living room, foregoing my usual NYD ritual of watching the Sy-Fy channel's annual Twilight Zone marathon and take in what is most definitely a day of rest, I make the realization that my dynamic duo never snore in unison. It's more like a conversation or contest the two of them are having for one to outdo the other.

However, today especially, I'm finding that their little snore-and-snort sonata is somewhat soothing seque into a new - hopefully BETTER - year. It's truly started off to be just that!

Last night, my husband's youngest brother, who is in his mid-thirties and really a sweet guy, asked this wonderful woman to be his wife. Okay, so lots of people get engaged, but the great thing about his proposal is that he did it on the bridge where my husband and I were married AND the entire family was present, as were his closest friends.

The proposal happened before midnight, but it was such a great way to create an atmosphere of warmth and joy beyond the basic convivial New Year cheer. My BIL's fiancee is one of the nicest people I have ever met. Truly. I will also say that I was (and am) so genuinely pleased that she said she considered me to be her "new sister." It meant a lot more than you could ever know.

I'm sure I'm not unique in that I haven't always appreciated my family (immediate or otherwise) but, as I grow older, I realize how crucial the bonds are to creating a satisfying life. I'm looking forward to having another new "sister."  Additionally, I'm hopeful that 2012 will be the year that relationships can be mended, friendships can be forged and families can allow bygones to be just that...bygones.

After all, this moment, right now, is really all we have. So, having said that, I'm going to make a cup of tea and listen to my own personal snoring serenade.

Happy New Year!

Putting "Everything" In It's Place

Just a few short days ago, I looked at the calendar and realized that the very next day was going to be the first day of December! Where did the month of November go?

Immediately, I began to experience a familiar and unwelcomed panicky feeling and I stopped to ask myself, "What if I don't get 'everything' done before the holiday is here?!"

For a moment, I was seized by an overwhelming urge to resort to my old self; the self whose only way of coping was to cut and run. Avoidance coping to the max!

Calling on newly-learned breathing techniques, I closed my eyes and took a big, deep breath. Slowly (and calmly, I might add) I went through my list of "everything."

After pulling my focus back to the moment - I was able to sort out that "everything" was really a whole lot of "nothing."  Christmas is coming regardless. I'm slowly learning that if I relinquish control to the universe, it will eventually come out just fine. I don't have to control anything and everything will be put in it's proper place at the proper time.

You see, there is absolutely no reason in the world to fret over "anything" that isn't happening in the immediate moment.

This year, won't you join me in the conscious decision to worry less about "presents" and focus solely on "presence?" It truly is a gift.

Peace and joy be yours this season!


http://www.apa.org/helpcenter/holiday-season.aspx

http://www.socialworkers.org/pressroom/2001/111401.asp

http://stress.lovetoknow.com/How_to_Relax_During_the_Holidays

Not The Usual Pre-Holiday Blogpost -

Recently, I was introduced to a local horse rescue and sanctuary that is run by probably one of the most saintly women I have ever met. Forget-Me-Not Horse Rescue and Sanctuary is located between Osage Beach and Camdenton in the little area called Linn Creek. It's a drive if you live in Lake Ozark, but once you're out there, you realize it was worth every mile.

The owner, Connie Hendricks, is a lovely woman with bright blue eyes and a heart that, I'm sure, takes up her entire body. She has horses, mules, peacocks, a gaggle of little yappy dogs, and one big, black cow named Stanley. Connie told me that she is certain that Stanley believes he's a horse and, like me, she believes that these animals have souls; they think, feel, love and hurt as badly as we do.

The animals were all rescued from abusive or neglectful situations, and they are well-cared for at Forget-Me-Not. The type of dedication that Connie is giving to these animals (some blind or afflicted with very serious skin conditions that require regular medical attention) is truly amazing. The video is one I made of my new adoptee "Maude the Mule" and her friends at Forget-Me-Not.

Something else that amazes me is the amount of neglect and abuse in and around my community.

Abuse not only of animals, but of children (and women, too.)  It makes me sad to know that a human can be so inhumane and have such a depth of cruelty.  One of my former speech students once told me that Wal-Mart in Osage Beach is alleged to sell the most Budweiser anywhere in the United States...and the highest percentage of spouse and child abuse in Missouri is also purported to be in the Tri-County area that includes my own.

So, it's no wonder the Lake area has organizations full of dedicated people who volunteer tirelessly to protect, defend and provide refuge for individuals, children and animals who are the victims of such senselss cruelty. All of these organizations need and deserve support, and most of them really need money right now. The economy isn't helping anything, especially these important efforts.

Most of these organizations hold regular fundraising events. In fact, there are so many fundraising events for important causes that A Brown Bag Gourmet has literally had to back away from participating and just budget for annual donations. I wish I could help all of these organizations, adopt all of these animals, counsel with all of the women and protect all of the children and assure them that their adult life can be completely different if, once they are away from their abuser, they avoid walking in the abusers footsteps.

I am but one person, but I do what I can.

One of the things I want to do is encourage you to check out these organizations and find out what speaks to your heart. Do what you can. If you can't afford to give money, try to volunteer. If you can't volunteer, simply spread the word. Use your Facebook page or Twitter to repost information on these important causes because only by sharing and educating each other can we build awareness and lean towards change - and THAT is with ANYTHING in our lives!

With the onset of the holidays, I know that there is going to be an increase in reports of abuse. I wish I could simply share a recipe or entertaining tip, but after my visit to Forget-Me-Not, I realize that I have work to do beyond just sharing my talent for catering.

If you took time to read this blogpost, please take another moment to check out the links. Many thanks for your attention, your time.

May your holiday season be blessed.

http://www.cadv-voc.org/

http://kidsharbor.typepad.com/

http://www.mokidsfirst.org

Learning to live your best life through YOGA!

A Brown Bag Gourmet is all about celebrating life, and the things that make life worth living!

Of course, that celebration includes creating delicious food and amazing, entertaining experiences, but it also includes enjoying the MOMENT...experiencing the present in ways that bring comfort and peace to our daily lives. We can make every day the best day ever, just by living moment to moment, letting go of the past and avoiding our tendencies to worry too much about the future.

After all, we only have RIGHT NOW and living in the present helps us to live a positive and productive life - our BEST LIFE! 

However, remembering to live in the present takes "presence of mind."

With that in mind, ABBG is pleased to present our brand new podcast featuring a discussion on YOGA and how the practice of yoga can help to heal our lives. The discussion features the vibrant Megan Sappington, RYT, a yogi who teaches in Jefferson City, Missouri. Megan talks about how she integrated yoga into her life, what the practice of yoga means and how it can help you to create your best life.

Just click on the picture and enjoy this 20+ minute chat with Ashley Brown and Megan Sappington, and check out http://www.abrownbaggourmet.com/ for information on a fantastic event coming to Jefferson City on October 22nd that's all about YOU and LIVING THE GOOD LIFE!